Kid Cudi is baring his darkest moments in his forthcoming memoir, Cudi: The Memoir. In an emotional excerpt published by GQ, the rapper recounts a near-fatal drug overdose that nearly claimed his life. The memoir is set to release on August 12.
A Descent into Darkness
Cudi describes the night he “did more coke than I ever had in my life” and lost touch with reality. Alone in his New York apartment, tears streamed down his face as he listened to Lykke Li’s “Time Flies” on repeat. He felt despair engulf him.
“I was at peace with dying,” he writes, as he collapsed to the floor and crawled across the room. His heart pounded, and he assumed death was imminent.
Then, a moment of clarity. He recalls, “You made great music that people loved. But this is the end.”
The Breaking Point
Cudi explains that the addiction intensified during the recording of Man on the Moon II. “At first, I was doing bumps, but I had quickly worked my way up to heavier and steadier quantities,” he confesses. “I’d make lines that were as wide as my pinky and do them back‑to‑back throughout the day, every day.”
By the time he was working on Speedin’ Bullet 2 Heaven in 2015, his thoughts had turned suicidal. He details Googling “exit bags,” planning his own death. “I was plotting it. There’s a song at the end of Speedin’ Bullet where I say good‑bye… I was not planning to live that year,” he admits.
From Crisis to Memoir
The excerpt paints an unvarnished portrait of fame’s toll. Despite the outward success, Cudi felt hollow and directionless. He writes of feeling like a “lighthouse for others” with no light to guide himself.
The 320‑page memoir delves deep into his personal battles and the ways they shaped his music and life.
Cudi has long been open about mental health and addiction. His willingness to expose his vulnerabilities has made him a figure of solace for many. This memoir promises to continue that tradition with added depth.
Cudi: The Memoir arrives August 12, offering fans a raw, unfiltered journey through the artist’s darkest hours.