Mary J. Blige is setting the record straight on her journey to sobriety. Looking back on her path to recovery, the Queen of Hip-Hop Soul opened up about the deep regret she feels for giving her ex-husband, Kendu Isaacs, credit for helping her get sober.
Blige clarified that while she once publicly attributed her transformation to him, her true turning point came from an internal resolve and a spiritual commitment to saving her own life.
”He did not deserve that credit,” the Queen of Hip Hop Soul told Self Magazine.
“I wanted a savior,” she explained. “I’d been hurting so long, and so much, and so bad.”
“We numb ourselves with drugs and alcohol and people and shopping and shit, to cover up what’s really going on inside,” she says. “You’re taking drugs so you can go out and feel courageous, or go out and feel beautiful or whatever. You’re doing it to cover up something.”
“I’ve seen visions of what I would look like if I kept doing drugs,” she said. “If I saw myself almost dying, or if I almost died, or almost O.D.’d, why would I do that again?”
Blige also shared how long it took her to share that she was sexually abused.
“It took me a long time to tell my mom something that happened to me when I was smaller,” Blige said. “I was 33 years old when I revealed to my mom how I was molested. Thirty-three. Because I didn’t want to hurt her. And I wish I didn’t do it then, but I had to.”
Along with her Las Vegas residency, Blige is stepping behind the camera to produce a 1980s drama for USA Network. The project, Philly Reign, is adapted from Thelma Wright’s memoir With Eyes from Both Sides: Living My Life In and Out of the Game, which details her real-life journey as a drug queenpin.
Blige will also portray the lead in “Power Book II: Ghost,” the upcoming spin-off of Starz’s hit series “Power.”